


The SBI Crusade

by J_Money



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Dream Smp, Gen, Pre-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Prince Tubbo, Prophecy, and even then it's super duper minor, idk it's just a medieval rendition of dream smp, if you squint there could be a couple more though, once i get more chapters i'll write more tags, only one ship is really relevant to the plot, sbi crusaders au, tubbo is part of sbi and i will be taking no criticism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27571510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Money/pseuds/J_Money
Summary: When Tubbo inherits the ailing kingdom of Pogtopia, SBI is sent on a quest to retrieve the kingdom's power core from the nation of Manberg. It's pretty cool. You should click on this. (At the end of the story I plan to release a soundtrack so stick around.)aka if Philza was whitelisted on the Dream SMP(DEADASS I WROTE THAT LINE ON NOVEMBER 15TH I F*CKING KNEW)
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 94





	1. Spooky Scary Sleepy Bois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome to my self-indulgent dream smp au. i fleshed this idea out before november 16th so it doesn't take any of the events of the war into account. though i may or may not have predicted some stuff with this. won't go into detail though. please enjoy.
> 
> note: this first chapter is pretty much a recreation of the sbi halloween stream but with a couple lines cut out and an added tubbo :)

Wilbur Soot moved his Minecraft character over to where a large crater had just been made in the map. “Hey, Phil, what’s the command to replace all this ground with grass?” he asked.

“Don’t worry, Wilbur, I’m on it,” Tommy said.

“Alright, thank you, Tommy. Phil, don’t worry. Tommy says he’s on it and he’s good at this.”

“I’m genuinely worried,” Phil replied.

Wilbur laughed. He knew this stream would be a fun one, but he was enjoying it more than he expected to. There weren’t many onstream moments when the fan-dubbed Sleepy Bois were all together. Twitter must have been going crazy. The 100-player challenges were a usual fan-favorite, as was shown by the hundreds of Twitch subs racing to be whitelisted first, some who had been trying for months and some who had just created an Amazon account five minutes ago. Regardless of that, the stream was going well, and Wilbur was thankful that everyone was having a good time.

Wilbur continued toward the crater. He heard Technoblade’s voice in his earphone. “TNT in 3, 2, 1…” At that same moment, the crater was filled with the iridescent purple glow of crying obsidian.

“Um.” Wilbur quickly found that he had no words to describe what he was looking at.

“What is this, Build Mart?” Techno deadpanned.

Wilbur watched as Tommy’s character ran across the crying obsidian floor. Tommy hummed in contemplation before concluding, _“Me gusta!”_ He replaced another portion of the ground with the block as well. “Now when I look at the ground, I think ‘the ground is sadder than I am.’ This is progress.”

 _This is progress in the wrong direction_ , Wilbur thought. “Tommy, I- I wanted grass, this is-”

“Oh, well, _fine_ , fine…”

“It looks less like the moon,” he admitted. “It does look less like the moon, Tommy, but it’s not grass.”

“Podzol,” Tommy decided.

“Yeah, podzol’s fine. Just anything, please.” Wilbur watched as the crying obsidian was replaced with podzol. Though he would have preferred regular grass, this was a step up from what they were previously working with.

“There we go!” Tommy said.

Wilbur nodded in approval. “There we go, there we go, this is looking more like Earth.”

“But it needs more bees!”

“What?” 

Wilbur looked over to where Tommy was running around holding a bee spawn egg. “Tubbo!” he shouted, running across the podzol.

Wilbur laughed. “Hey, should we add Tubbo to the call?” he asked.

“Mm, yeah yeah.”

“We’ll talk about bees and then we’ll kick him again.”

Tommy fell silent, likely checking through his phone. Wilbur looked over at his chat to see that they were all excited to hear from Tubbo. It made him smile, knowing that he, like Tommy, was growing in both popularity and character. The two were going to make fine young men.

“Oh, he’s come online.”

“Let’s wait for him,” Wilbur said.

“Aw, Tubbo, get on, man,” Tommy groaned.

The sound of another person joining the call played in everyone’s ears. “Hello?”

“Eyyyy Tubbo!” Tommy shouted, followed similarly by the others.

“Hey guys!”

“What’s up, big man?”

“Oh, I was just about to go to bed, but I thought I’d hop on and see how you guys were doing.”

“You don’t have to stay, Tubbo,” Phil suggested.

“Yeah, you can leave if you want. It’s fine,” Wilbur agreed. It was getting to be close to midnight, after all.

“No, no, it’s cool. I wanna hang out!” Tubbo insisted. “Can I get whitelisted quick?”

“Yeah, sure, one second.” Wilbur opened his text box and typed in the command to whitelist Tubbo. Within seconds, Tubbo joined the server.

“Ooh! This looks nice,” he said, looking around.

“Yeah but the thing is, we need it to look like Earth,” Wilbur explained.

“This could be Earth,” Tubbo argued, “if it- if- if there was an apocalypse or something.” The comment yielded a burst of laughter that could only have come from Tommy.

“Ah yes, an apocalypse in which a giant cube of dirt gets blown up by a child,” Techno laughed.

Tubbo moved around the map until he spotted an area. “This part over here looks like Earth.”

“Really?” Wilbur went over to the area Tubbo indicated and saw that the players were doing quite well, having made a river and several gardens as well as planting trees. “Oh, they’ve actually done their job! Funnily enough, it’s on the side of the moon that we haven’t been afflicting.” He gestured to the more chaotic far side of the map where the crater was.

“That’s ironic.”

“What’s this over here, guys?” Tubbo asked.

Tommy flew over to where Tubbo was standing. In front of him was a semicircle of signs, the ones they had obtained earlier from Wilbur. “The signs? Oh, lemme- ‘Every moment has led up to this.’ Oh, shut up,” he said, breaking a sign. “No one cares.” 

“Really?”

“Pick up a football. That’s what I say.” The two laughed at Tommy's comment.

“Hey, uh, why’s there just a bunch of people surrounding you guys?” Techno asked, hovering above Tommy and Tubbo. At some point, people had started running in circles around them. The jump boost was causing the circle to fall slightly out of place, but the players continued to create a ring around both them and the signs.

“Is it about the signs?” Tubbo suggested.

Tommy laughed nervously, moving closer to the center of the circle where Tubbo was. “This isn’t weird at all.” Wilbur could hear the sarcasm in Tommy’s voice and had to agree. This was very weird.

Wilbur moved his character to see what was going on and groaned. “Oh God- Josh, if anyone starts chanting cult rituals, ban them.” _Of all the days for them to start doing weird shit,_ he thought.

“Is it really that serious?” Phil chuckled, evidently trying to bring up the mood.

Wilbur slapped the table lightly. “I’m not gonna have the fucking occult living on the moon, Phil. I’ve already been possessed once this month,” he added, holding up a finger for emphasis and eliciting more loud laughter from Tommy.

“Wait, Tommy, what’s that?” Tubbo asked.

“Anyone else see the weird light?” Techno asked.

Wilbur turned his attention back to the screen. At the center of the circle, right in front of Tubbo, a small white ball of light was floating.

“What the fuck?” Tommy asked, arm waving as he tried to punch the light with his character. “I can’t touch it.”

“Hey, uh, just out of curiosity, Will, what version of Minecraft is this?” Tubbo asked.

“Josh, what version of Minecraft is this?” Wilbur repeated, pausing with a nervous look to await his admin’s response. At the bottom of the screen appeared the reply:

_ <JoshA20> 1.16.4?? _

“1.16… alright, Philza Minecraft, it’s your time to shine,” Wilbur said.

“ _What?_ ”

“What’s that creepy fucking ball they’re making?”

“I don’t know! That’s never been in the game!” Phil answered quickly.

“Well, I’m right next to it and it looks like it’s in the game to me!” Tommy replied, light mere inches from his face. When he looked away, he noticed that many more people were now running around them. He chuckled nervously. “What the fuck?”

Techno landed to look at the signs. “‘Consider the river and all its glory. Maybe there is one sliver of hope. Hope for a land without the means to survive. Ignore the Sleepy Bois. This is hope. Bruised and broken and hopeful yet. We send you now to set us free.’ That’s a lot of hope.”

“What does that even mean?” Tommy asked.

At the center of the circle, the light grew in size, causing Tommy and Tubbo to back up toward the signs.

“Is it getting bigger?” Tubbo pointed out, turning to look. It had, in fact, seemed to have gotten bigger yet.

“I need to see this.” Wilbur dropped down in the center of the circle with the others and read the signs for himself. _No way this is legit_ , he thought. _No fucking way_.

The five men watched as the orb grew brighter and brighter. More and more people joined the circle, and from Wilbur’s speakers came a low crackling hum.

“Did I just unleash a curse?” Techno asked, chuckling nervously.

The orb grew brighter and brighter, the humming getting louder and louder, until the white light completely filled Wilbur’s screen.

“Anyone else’s screen just turn white?” Tommy’s voice was barely audible over the humming, though it seemed he was talking rather loudly.

“It feels like it’s getting brighter still, what the fu-”

Suddenly, whoever was speaking was lost to the humming. Wilbur tried to click on something, anything, but nothing would respond. The humming continued to build and the glow of the screens shone on his face, highlighting the panic that crossed his features. “Guys? Guys??” No reply. “ _Chat_?? Chat, what the fuck is happening? I can’t see anything on my screen, chat, help-” 

From the stream’s view, Wilbur’s camera flashed white. When the flash was gone, so was Wilbur, leaving an empty chair and a broken clock and a stream left unended.

_Where did he go_

_WHAT??_

_omg_

_WILBUR WHAT HAPPENED_

_THE SERVER CRASHED_

_HE’S GONE WTF_

**_The chat is now in emote-only mode_ **.

_🗡JoshA20: I have no idea what just happened_

_🗡JoshA20: If we can’t contact Wilbur, we’ll try to end the stream_


	2. The City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where did the light take them O.o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys i know dream smp was absolutely insane today so i'm here to provide you with good tommy tubbo friendship... as long as i don't lose motivation to write it, this story is gonna be pogchamp, i promise you that.

Tommy awoke with a groan. No way was he going to be able to take that exam today, or do anything, for that matter. He opened his eyes but immediately shut them, turning his head and bringing an arm up to shield his eyes from the bright sun above.

Wait. The sun?

He sat up, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the daylight, and he noticed that he had been sleeping in a field of grass. When had he gotten there? Why? “The fuck?” he muttered. As he racked his brain to find an answer, a familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Is everyone okay?”

Tommy looked over to see that Tubbo, Techno, Wilbur, and Phil were awaking nearby, the latter of whom had asked the question. 

“What happened?” Tommy asked.

“I’m not sure,” Phil answered. “Last thing I remember was the stream, and then that flash, and then this.”

“Dammit,” Wilbur groaned, lying back down in the grass.

“What’s up, Will?”

“My subscribers and their fucking cult rituals. That’s what’s up. It’s not that I expected them to actually do any harm, but the fact that 1) they _were_ able to do something, and 2) they were able to do something _this_ big, is really fucking worrying.”

“Okay, but what exactly did they do?” Techno asked, standing to brush the dirt and grass off his clothing. “Does anybody know where we are?”

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Tubbo answered. He stood up and started walking around. “It’s quite beautiful.” 

Tommy looked around from where he sat. They were sitting in a clearing surrounded by seemingly dense forest except for an opening where it expanded into a large rolling pasture. Patches of dandelions dotted the field, and the smell of the summer air brought Tommy a peculiar sense of nostalgia. A warm breeze passed over him, comfortable and unlike the typical humidity such a day would bring back home. It really was nice, a tranquility his hectic life never brought.

“Hey, guys, there’s a town over here!”

Tommy blinked back into reality to see Tubbo standing several meters away, pointing in a direction outside the opening of the clearing. Sure enough, there was a town about 100 meters away, bustling with people who would hopefully know where they were.

“Well, let’s go, then!” Tommy said. 

“How do we know that they’re gonna just tell us where we are?” Techno asked. “‘Oh, hello, the five of us just woke up in that field over there, please give us information?’ That’s never gonna work.”

“Well, we wouldn’t tell them all that,” Tommy explained. “We’ll just act natural.”

“Of course, Tommy, because you’re the expert at acting natural,” Wilbur said, crossing his arms.

“Hey, fuck off. I know what I’m talking about.”

“I mean, it does seem like it’s the only thing we can do right now,” Phil said.

Tommy grinned, pumping a fist into the air. _“Y_ _e ah!_ See, Philza Minecraft agrees with me. Let’s go, boys.”

The five men stood up and made their way toward the town. The field seemed to roll on forever. Far off in the distance there were mountains. There had to be a place that looked this warm and beautiful. Maybe…

“Switzerland,” Wilbur muttered to himself. “Or maybe Italy… Austria… Alaska looks like this, doesn’t it…?” He looked left and right at his surroundings with the look of someone deep in thought. He wasn’t consciously aware he was playing Geoguessr with his surroundings, but it provided him with an easier way to get used to what had happened. What else was he meant to do, when his subscribers had formed a cult and sent him and his friends to a random location?

“All we need to do is ask around until someone can tell us useful info, right?” Tubbo asked.

“Yeah, but be careful. We don’t know if they take kindly to strangers or not,” Phil answered. 

“Nah, I’ve got this, fellas,” Tommy said with a grin. “I’ll tell them I’m friends with GeorgeNotFound and they’ll love me.”

“We’re doomed,” Techno replied, rolling his eyes.

“Excuse me, could we get some help?” Wilbur asked, stopping the first person he passed by on the path. Tommy and Tubbo stood further away, taking in the look of the town itself. 

They were at the city’s edge, but the streets converged into a larger town square further down. Horse carriages bustling about and people making their way up and down the street on foot created a faster-paced atmosphere. Almost regularly, there was a stand set up on the side of the street, marketing various foods and sometimes cloth and other goods. 

“Is this even our own time period?” Phil asked. “Because if it’s not, Will’s gonna have to rethink more than just his subscribers.”

“Surely not,” Tubbo answered, walking forward into the street. “Maybe they’ve sent us to some weird parallel dimension and we get to ride dragons or something.” Tommy quickened his pace to catch up.

Wilbur came back to see Tommy and Tubbo leaving. “Hey, hey, where are you guys going?” he asked, getting closer to them.

“Just to have a look around,” Tubbo answered. “It looks really cool.”

“Look, we don’t have any idea what’s going on, so maybe we should stick together--”

“Oh, come off it, Wilbur, you can’t trust us or something?” Tommy asked.

“Well, no, not particularly.”

“Come with us then!” Tubbo suggested.

“Well, uh, I don’t know if _I_ could, maybe...” Wilbur looked back to Phil and Techno. 

Phil stiffened, trying to keep a straight face but communicating slight discomfort with the idea. His eyes shifted to Techno, who looked back at him with the same indifferent disposition he always wore. He shrugged.

“I guess I’ll go with them,” Techno said, turning back to Wilbur.

“Excellent. Technoblade, you go with Tommy and Tubbo, and Phil and I will try to find some help over here. If you figure out what’s going on, find us right away. Don’t go too far and don’t let Tommy get into trouble.”

“Why just me?”

“You’re the most likely to get yourself in trouble, at least accept that.”

“Bitch,” Tommy grumbled.

Wilbur turned around and started up the road with Phil. “Hey, can we get some help?”

* * *

Tommy and Tubbo walked on the side of the street, Techno behind them, looking around at the buildings and the people passing by. The architecture matched that of the Middle Ages; white walls framed on the outside with timber and a visible stone foundation at the bottom. The sun was low enough in the sky that shadows were being cast onto the street from the houses.

“This is nice,” Tubbo commented.

“It’s alright,” replied Tommy. “Seems to be missing some basic electronics.”

“Ooh, what if we’re in one of those medieval towns where the people all get paid to live like they did back then? I've been to a couple of those and they were kind of like this.”

“That’d be cool. Would they be able to give us directions though?”

“I don’t know if they can break character to do that or not. What do you think, Technoblade?” Tubbo turned back to look at Techno only to find that he wasn’t there. He turned to see him walking down a different street.

“I think I’m going this way now.” Techno said, not even bothering to glance at them.

“Wait, what??” Tubbo cried, running to catch up with him.

“Tubbo, you can keep Tommy out of trouble,” Techno said, turning to point at Tubbo.

“What, you’re just going to leave?” Tommy asked, standing on the corner of the block.

“Yup.” Techno finally stopped and turned to face them, answering as though there was no issue with leaving.

“But what about Wilbur and Phil? They put you in charge.”

“And now I’m putting you in charge.”

“But--”

Tommy pulled Tubbo back. “Oh, who needs him, Tubbo? Let’s go.” Tommy disappeared around the corner, Tubbo following suit nervously.

“I don’t think this is a good idea. What if we get kidnapped or something?” Tubbo asked.

“Hey, we’re smart. We’ll be alright.”

“If you say so.”

The city seemed to run like clockwork, and Tommy and Tubbo weren't aware of how that system worked. They were now being pushed past by many people, and Tommy considered for a moment that following Technoblade may have been the smarter move. He dismissed this immediately, though, because he was simply never wrong. He turned around a corner where there were less people, and Tubbo came around a moment later.

"I don't know if I remember that many people in those towns," Tubbo said.

"Everyone was all dead from the plague and shit, right?" Tommy shrugged.

"Well, not all of them." A moment passed before Tubbo put his hands on his stomach with a noise of surprise.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just hungry,” he explained.

“Hmm…” Tommy looked up and down the street until his eyes landed on a baker selling bread up the road. “We can ask that guy.”

Tubbo looked at the baker and his eyebrows furrowed. “Is he just gonna give us food for free?”

“Everyone in medieval times was poor, Tubbo.” Tommy gestured with his hands as he spoke. “There’s no way it won’t work.”

“We can try.”

The two walked up the road to the stand. Tubbo could have sworn he had just eaten, but then again, there was no way to know how much time had passed since the stream. He wasn't sure how they had gotten to this town, but part of it felt familiar to him, as though he was meant to be there. He figured it was because he'd experienced the recreated medieval villages before, but something still felt different.

"Excuse me," Tommy said, approaching the baker with the most casual voice he could. "We've just come into town, and we were wondering if we could grab ourselves some food for the road."

“Y’got any money?” the man asked.

“Money? Well, no…” As he answered, he felt around in the pockets of his jeans in case he had some cash or, better yet, his wallet. But why would he have had his wallet in his pocket to stream? He guessed he was out of luck.

“Then get outta here.”

Tubbo stepped forward. “We can’t get anything? Even a crumb? We’ve just found ourselves here, sir, and we really would like something to--”

“If you don’t have any money, then scram, kid!” the baker shooed them away.

The two went back around to sit against the wall. “What are we going to do now?" Tubbo asked. "I guess we could find another stand, but if they all cost money...”

Tommy sat down and thought for a moment. “Tubbo.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you need to eat right now?"

He put a hand on his stomach. "I'm not hungry to the point of being sick, but it would be nice."

Tommy leaned over and checked around the corner. He turned back to Tubbo. “Well, there’s two of us, and one of him.”

Tubbo’s eyebrows raised. “You mean-” he lowered his voice to a whisper- “you mean steal from him? We’re not supposed to get into trouble, remember? Wilbur and Phil said一”

“Oh, forget what Wilbur and Phil said. Let’s just go up there and take some bread. What’s the worst he could do?”

“You’re sure we won’t get caught?”

“We won’t get caught if we do this right. Now here’s what we’re gonna do.”

* * *

Wilbur left the shop, running a hand through his hair with a stressed sigh. He found Phil leaning against the wall.

“Anything about how to get home?” Phil asked.

“Nothing. They hadn’t even _heard_ of England.”

“How is that even possible?”

“I don’t know, but it means we must be somewhere insanely far away.”

“Do you think the others are doing alright?”

“I’m sure Techno’s doing a fine job watching them.”

The two paused in thought, trying to figure out what to do next, when Phil’s eyes slowly widened. “Will… We put Techno in charge of watching Tommy and Tubbo.”

Wilbur looked up from his place deep in thought as the realization dawned on him. “Oh. Oh shit.”

“We need to find them _now_.”

“YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, BITCH!” a voice rang out some several blocks away.

Wilbur and Phil turned in the direction of the voice, having recognized it immediately. It was unmistakable. They exchanged a glance.

“... Found them,” Wilbur said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way follow my twitter @iceteamelon bc i plan to draw some of these scenes :D


	3. The Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what crime did tommy commit today, hmmmmmm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm 18 now :D thanks for all the support guys! i won't let you down

“YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, BITCH!” Tommy yelled, fighting his way out of the grip the policeman had him in. At his feet were about twelve loaves of bread, each roughly a foot long. 

“Sir, you’re under arrest,” the policeman explained, holding Tommy’s hands behind his back.

“ _Arrest?_ Wait, no, I- I can explain, I- ask my friend, Tubbo, he can vouch for me! … Tubbo?”

“You mean this kid we also found with stolen goods?” another officer asked, pulling behind him Tubbo with his hands cuffed behind his back.

“Fuck,” Tommy cursed.

“Sorry, Tommy,” Tubbo said, looking at him apologetically.

Tommy looked around frantically for an alibi, for anything he could use to get out of the situation he was in. His eyes darted around the square until they landed on Technoblade walking down the lane. 

“Techno!! Hey, Technoblade, over here! Can we get some help?”

Techno turned and stared at the two for a moment, bringing his hand up to his mouth to suppress what appeared to be a chuckle. He was laughing? At a time like this?!

“Alright, boys, let’s go.” Tommy and Tubbo were escorted into a carriage that started down the path. Tommy looked out the back window, and while Techno couldn’t hear what he was saying, there was a definite “fuck you” on his lips. Sure, it probably wasn’t too moral to let them get arrested, but it’s not like they were gonna die for stealing some food.

“Hey, Techno!”

Techno turned to see Wilbur and Phil running down the street. “Oh, hey guys.”

“Have you seen Tommy and Tubbo?”

“Oh yeah, they just got arrested. They’re in that carriage up there.”

They looked at the carriage as it moved away, a stunned silence holding them there. Wilbur turned back to Techno. “AND YOU JUST STOOD THERE AND WATCHED?!” he yelled.

“Yup.”

“We need to go after them.”

“But where are they going?” Phil asked.

“I say if they’re going anywhere, it’s there,” Techno gestured across the city to a castle that rose up in the distance, towering over the rest of the city in a way that made the three wonder why they hadn’t seen it earlier. It seemed to be the perfect place to take two young criminals.

* * *

“Well, this is just great,” Tommy said, leaning against the wall of the cell and sliding down to the floor. The officers had put him in a cell that was barely larger than his bathroom. They really had that medieval dungeon aspect down.

“It was a fine idea,” said Tubbo, who was sitting in the cell next to him. “The execution was just a little... off.”

“How was I supposed to know the baker was armed?”

“It wasn't too out of the question, when you think about it.”

“But you were able to get some, right?”

“Yeah.” Tubbo pulled out a fist-sized chunk of bread from his pocket and split it. “Want some?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it's alright.”

Tubbo reached his hand through the bars with the bread and Tommy put his hand through. They couldn’t actually see each other, nor could they really gauge how far away the cell blocks were from each other.

“Can you reach it?” Tubbo asked.

“Kinda…”

“You know, in hindsight, this wasn’t the best idea.”

“There, I’ve got it now.”

“Alright, good.”

Tommy took the bread and tore off a piece to eat. It wasn’t the freshest bread he’d ever eaten一he could have argued it wasn’t even made correctly given how dry and uneven it was一but it worked for the moment.

“So where do you think we are?” Tubbo asked.

“There’s no way we’re close to home. Are we even in England?”

“They do all speak English, so maybe…”

“Would a medieval recreation town put us into an actual jail?” Tommy asked, gesturing at his cell, which only included a bench and a large metal bucket he didn’t want to think about using.

“I mean, they might.”

“No way.” He took another bite of the bread before continuing. “What the fuck even happened back there? How does a Minecraft game do all this to us?”

“Couldn’t tell you. I’m just glad it didn’t pop us all in a _random_ location. Like, all different from each other.”

“ _Oh_.…I guess that would make this worse.”

From the end of the hall, Tommy heard the door creak open. “So they're in here? Thank you.”

“There, I see them.”

From the light of the doorway entered Phil, Wilbur, and Techno. “Oh, thank God,” Wilbur sighed. “What the fuck did you two think I meant by ‘don't get in trouble’?”

“Hey, we did our best,” Tommy answered, pulling off another piece of bread.

“YOU STOLE FOOD?”

"Yeah. And we did it successfully.” Tommy punctuated his sentence by gesturing with the chunk of bread in his hand. “We may have gotten caught, but we have food now.” He took a bite.

Wilbur put his head in his hands. “It’s not about whether or not you’ve done it _successfully_ when you’re in jail.”

“We might have gotten away if _someone_ had helped us out,” Tommy said, glaring at Technoblade pointedly.

Techno suppressed a chuckle. “Well, I've gotta admit, it was pretty funny watching you get arrested.”

“Fuck you.”

“Well, we know one thing,” Phil explained. “We're not anywhere near home. And the sooner we figure out exactly what's happened, the sooner we can figure out how to get back.”

“How are we gonna do that?” asked Tubbo, who stood up and leaned against the iron bars of his cell.

“The guards told us that before you guys get to go, you need an audience with the king. I don't know who the king is, but it sounded like an important matter.”

“They're not gonna execute us, are they?” Tommy asked.

“Oh, surely not?” Tubbo added.

“They told us since it was your first offense they might let you go, but ultimately it's up for the king to decide,” Wilbur said.

“Screw the king,” Tommy said, standing up and grabbing the bars, examining them for any flaw. “Can't we just break out and get out of here?”

“Tommy, do you have anything to break out with?” Techno asked with an amused look.

“Well, no…”

At the end of the hall, the door creaked open once again, and a guard clad in purple was in the doorway.

“The king is ready for an audience.”

* * *

“What do you think the king's gonna be like?” Tubbo asked as they walked down the pristine hallways of the castle.

“Well, I hope it’s not one of those old and crusty kings who executes everyone,” Tommy answered.

“Shut up, guys,” Wilbur said, walking behind them.

It was a little later when they entered the grand hall. A red and gold throne was situated on the far end of the hall. From a door on the back wall came a tall man wearing a silver crown. The purple mantle around his shoulders hid much of the clothing underneath, but one could see a blue tunic over a white shirt and black pants. His face looked strikingly familiar, but no one could quite place why.

“Introducing His Majesty, King Eret,” the guard said.

“ERET?” Tommy repeated. That’s why the king looked familiar, but it only served to raise more questions in his mind about why he was the king of this random place, and why they happened to be transported there specifically.

“What-”

“How is he--”

“Hush now.” The guard held out an arm to silence the group before they could continue with a string of words and questions that likely couldn’t be answered. 

King Eret sat down on his throne and cleared his throat. “For what reason have you brought these men to me?"

“Your Majesty, these two teenagers were caught stealing from a baker.”

“And that is a matter which should be brought to me why?”

“These other three claim to be their guardians; we wanted your blessing before we put the boys in their custody.”

“Of course. Introduce yourselves.”

Wilbur stepped forward, clearing his throat. “Good afternoon, Your Majesty. I am Wilbur Soot… of, uh, of England, and these are my colleagues Philza, Technoblade, TommyInnit, and Tubbo.”

They had half expected Eret to recognize them, but no sort of recognition flashed through his eyes from the throne on which he sat.

"Thank you. What was the severity of their crime?"

"The light-haired boy was carrying an armful of bread when he was apprehended, while the dark-haired boy had only taken a few loaves.”

“In our defense we were quite hungry,” Tommy interjected. Wilbur elbowed him, causing him to flinch. “Ow. Hey.”

“Was anyone harmed?”

“No.”

“Any major goods rendered unmarketable?”

“No.”

“Was it their first offense?”

“Yes.”

“Then I see no reason why they shouldn’t be allowed to go free.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” The guard turned to the group. “You’re all free to go.”

Tommy wanted to ask more questions, scores of questions, regarding where they were and what was going on, but he had to follow suit when the others slowly turned to leave. He began to sense that there would be nothing more for him there. They were in the doorway when Eret stopped them.

“Hold on a moment,” he said, causing the group to pause and turn back.

“What is it, Your Majesty?” the guard asked.

He turned his attention to Wilbur. “You said you were from England, right, Soot?”

“Um, yes. Might you know how to get there from here?”

The king sucked in a breath, sitting in stunned silence for a moment before he stood up suddenly, turning to another guard in the corner of the room near another door. “Get the sorcerer in here. I need him in here right now. Go!”

“For what reason, Your Majesty?”

“The prince of Pogtopia has come.”


End file.
